If you clicked on this post hoping to read something about Halloween, you will be disappointed. This is actually about a cat. I really should preface this by apologizing to cat lovers everywhere. I’m sure that YOUR cat is a sweetie, but let me assure you, the one I am about to describe is not.
When I married my husband a few years ago, the cat came with him. Her name is Baldue. Baldue the cat. Often (okay, frequently), I tell my husband that his cat is stupid and proceed to explain the bad things that happened while he was at work. But the truth is, his cat is not stupid. She is very, very smart. Somehow though, calling her “stupid” seems better than calling her maniacally evil. Or diabolical.
Please choose which of the following Baldue the cat is guilty of:
a) sleeping on and shedding on the laptop
b) sitting on my book and tooting poop onto it
c) sleeping in my daughter’s bouncer
d) climbing on and shedding on the kitchen stove
e) blocking the space heater when it’s on
Please choose “all of the above.” The worst part is, aside from (e), she does all of these things while I’m not looking. I told my husband she was sleeping on the laptop and he didn’t believe me. “If she was,” he said, “Then you would see xdlkdjkldk all over.” I had proof though–some long, long cat hairs imbedded in the keyboard. This morning, at dark o’ thirty, I finally caught her on the laptop (actually, I saw her on the laptop and caught her in the act of sneaking off of it).
As my father in law says, Baldue is in the “dog house.” At least for the next couple weeks.