Tired of Adulting

I’m not sure when it clicks that you really are an adult. I feel like the harsh reality of that fact took a while to sink in for me. Maybe it was when we made a will assigning guardianship of our children. Perhaps it was when we screwed up on our income taxes and owed a whole bunch that one year. One of the most recent instances was just this last spring…

We learned that the transmission in my husband’s green Kia Spectra needed to be replaced. Since the cost of the repair would have far exceeded the value of the car, we decided to scrap the car. Easy, right? It turned into quite a fiasco. As it turned out, the title was still in the name of his mother, who passed away before we even got married. Not only that, we couldn’t locate the title, and the bank where the car loan was from had since gone out of business.

In the middle of all this, I felt so stressed. We had to keep insurance on the broken car while we were attempting to track down the title. I spent a lot of time on the phone and online trying to figure out what our options were. Two strong feelings surfaced. One, in my desperation, I fantasized about someone stealing the car or dumping it off a cliff. Two, I realized that no one was going to rescue me from this problem. I really wanted someone to swoop in and FIX it. But…I’m the adult now.

There are some horrible things about being an adult. You really have to answer for your decisions, particularly financially. I’ve just now started dreading when the mail man comes, worrying that maybe some type of bad news might have been delivered. So yes, sometimes I’m really tired of “adulting.”

There are some awesome things too though. I go to bed when I want. I can eat pie for breakfast if I want (and I have!). I get to choose how our days run. The independence is priceless. And yet, sometimes I just wish someone else would fix everything.



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