I feel like I’ve been circling this whole year. After the 4th trimester (the rough postpartum phase) ended with Alsea, I started to feel like a human being again and realized I wanted something for myself. Something that could be part of how I defined myself. Something that wasn’t about me being a mother. I’ve made lists. I’ve brainstormed. I made a brainstorming idea page where I listed every possible thing I could do and tried to draw connections.
Could I write? Could I blog? Should I sell something? Should I make something? Should I offer a service? My gut says that this “thing” that I’ve been missing is some type of creative endeavor. Although I enjoy blogging, I’m pretty sure it is not my “thing.” To be a successful blogger, one’s blog needs to have more of a main focus and be much more directed and consistent than mine is. But I like writing. I always have. I wrote a children’s picture book this fall and I’ve pitched it to a couple publishers. Not sure if that is supposed to be my “thing.”
My inbox is full of job listings for copyright and editing jobs I could try and acquire. But I don’t really want to do that. It doesn’t feel like the “thing.” So, once again, I’m circling, tossing out ideas and hoping something sticks.